August 2009: Presence in process

Paying Attention

We are so anxious to achieve some particular end that we never pay attention to the psychophysical means whereby that end is to be gained. So far as we are concerned, any old means is good enough. But the nature of the universe is such that ends can never justify the means. On the contrary, the means always determine the end.
– Aldous Huxley

It’s foggy out this early morning, my wake up call of this particular summer.

I love photographing in the fog, but this summer even I may be growing weary of making photographs in the damp mist. However I get up, get dressed and throw my camera bag and tripod into the car.

This particular morning I don’t have a well thought out plan or even a notion of what I want to point the camera at. So I wander, heading south and end up in Thomaston. Several years ago I photographed here at the Maine State Prison between the time the prisoners had been moved out to the new jail in Warren and a crew began removal of the asbestos for the demolition of the prison. I have driven past the site many time over the ensuing years and wondered what Thomaston was going to do with the plot of land where the prison once stood. This morning I find myself headed towards the site to see what I can find to photograph.

All that remains of the prison is a small section of the wall. Two plaques testify to the history of the prison and to its destruction. Looming up out of the fog I think I have found my image for the morning. I make a couple of exposures and then wander around in the wet grass. Further to the south, in an area that would have been outside the prison walls is a small, fenced-in cemetery, where some of the inmates have been buried. There are not many graves in this plot and most are marked only with tiny markers. Standing outside the fence I stand and frame another shot. It is a nice pastoral scene, the iron picket fence, the fog hanging low and obscuring the tree line in the distance.

Now I could quit, go home and have breakfast. I have made a few images, maybe one that will become part of my project on Maine. While walking back to the car I see a symbol painted on the sidewalk of a backpacker and the arrow pointing off in another direction. I figure “what the heck”. I have two sheets of film left so I follow the path. It leads me down the road about a block to a small bridge crossing the railroad tracks.

There I set up the camera again and find my expected image: railroad tracks disappearing between tree-lined banks into the fog. In my laziness I’ve placed the tracks in the center of the image. I make one exposure and as I am putting the film holder back into the camera, the camera shifts. Swearing under my breath, I open the lens and try to recompose the image for the second exposure. Lo and Behold, I am looking at a better image! Leaves are shimmering in the foggy light for much of the frame and off to one side the railroad tracks gently curve off into the brighter light of the rising sun. I didn’t move the camera, just tightened it down, put the film holder back in and captured the image.

Once again I am reminded of three photographic truths: First, if I want to make good images, I have tomake the effort to set the camera up and actually make images. Not simply think about images or talk about making images but actually put film in the camera and expose, process and look at the images I am making. Secondly, I have to pay attention when I am making the photograph. If I just go out for the exercise of photographing, operating on automatic, then I am only repeating what I have done in the past. If I am bored by what I am framing, then most likely everyone who looks at the finished image is going to be bored too. Lastly, by paying attention and being present throughout the process of making the image, I am more likely to discover the serendipitous moments when the Universe creates an opportunity for discovery. Sometimes the signs pointing you to a good image are not written in bright flashes of insight, but are simply a matter of shifting your feet.

May you enjoy the August days of summer!

Tillman